I know that it has been almost five years, but I just can’t help but think about those days. They were truly the worst days, but they were the best. There are so many things that you helped me with that you don’t understand. So many days where you were the only reason I went to school. Over the years I have grown and changed in so many ways, but there will always be our relationship that doesn’t change. We haven’t seen each other in years, but I know that our hearts are still connected. There’s a bond between us that will never be torn apart.
You didn’t know how much those sleep overs meant to me. Knowing that there was someone there that actually wanted to see me outside of school. Knowing that you cared enough meant a lot. It also gave me a chance to get away from my house. I’m not saying it was bad, but there were definitely times where I thought I couldn’t breathe, and being able to spend time away with you was wonderful.
Our hour long phone calls that annoyed my family were some of the best times. You had no idea what those meant to me. There were times where I wanted to stay in a deep depression and not talk to anyone at all. Then, I’d get a phone call from you. You were able to wash all those harmful thoughts out of my mind and let me escape for a couple hours with you. I sometimes wonder if I have ever laughed that hard since then.
Talking about all the horrible people we went to school with was some of my favorite conversations. Being able to hear someone else agree that those people were crap was very reassuring. You helped me to not focus on others word because if you didn’t like them, then why should I listen?
Your support was more than I deserved at times. You went to every single one of my performances. That meant so much. In one ear I was hearing people say how horrible I was and that directors were stupid for casting me in anything, and in the other ear I was hearing you ask about all the details of the stage. You actually cared, and didn’t think I was that bad. You were always the positive voice in my head.
There are so many more things I wish I could talk about, but it is not my place. While you never knew how low I was then, I didn’t know that you were also low. That those sleep overs meant more to you, because they kept out your demons. Your questions about theatre helped to paint a world that was different from what you knew. Those days where we never talked to each other, but walked side-by-side meant that you needed that company more than you needed words.
I wish that we had talked to each other about our difficulties, but I just wanted you to know that I have been honored by your friendship. I am glad that we could shine a light on each other’s darkness and be a true friend. I will never have another friend that will share what we have. We have both moved on, you more so than I. And even though those were our roughest days, I would never alter a single one in fear of loosing what we had.
So thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.